Shine Beautifully with The Lil Spa Room & April Monterrosa

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Happy 42 Years of Marriage

the lil spa room1Today my parents celebrate 42 years of marriage. Being that they ran away together and eloped at ages 16 and 18, it’s amazing to know their unique story and see how far they have come. They have been my main examples on what marriage is really about, how to love someone unconditionally, you stand by your spouse no matter what, and though at times things get challenging you stick it out.

My parents are the ones that kept me from giving up on my own marriage. As the oldest, I saw them go through many good times that made them fall more in love with each other and the bad times that tested both their strengths. In my eyes their love is so strong it’s invincible.

Many think marriage is a fairytale; its butterflies in your tummy every day, flowers, laughter, and pure bliss. I hate to say this, but it’s not. Don’t get me wrong those things do exist, but you have to work together as a couple to keep them. I have watched both of my parents constantly put each other first with themselves. My father has always adored and respected my mother and my mother has always stood by my father no matter how difficult things were. Neither one was ever greedy with each other when it came to time, money, or affection.

marriage the lil spa roomThank you mom and dad for showing me that when you marry for true love, you lose yourself, you give more chances, you forgive more, you ache harder, and even though you want to run away from it all at times, that sacred bond of marriage and the love you have for your spouse gives you more gall to fight for it all. The both of you are proof that marriage IS worth it, Happy Anniversary.
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Relaxation for the Mind, Body, & Soul

relaxation day- the lil spa roomHappy National Relaxation Day! Whether you are looking for physical or spiritual relaxation, here are a few tips to relax your body, soul & mind.

•Get comfortable: To be able to calm & relax, remove your shoes, undo your tie or neck button, loosen your belt, unclasp your bra, slip into something comfortable.

• Enjoy some Fresh air: Open the windows & breathe in the fresh air.

• Mother Nature: Instead of hanging in a busy part of town, take a couple of minutes outdoors to slow down. Nature has its own way of calming your mind.

•Silence: Find a place in silence; treasure it, absorb it, immerse yourself in it, hang on to it as long as you can.

happiness- the lil spa room• Deep Breaths: Straighten up and take a deep slow breath through your nose, deep into your tummy, do not let the chest rise, relax your shoulders – then release the breath slowly through your mouth.

•New Age Music: Play some relaxing music with nature sounds and wind chimes to set up a more relaxing mood. This goes well with open windows.

•Reject stress: Reorganize your priorities. Reject anything that will put pressure on you. Learn to say no and become more positive and energetic.

•Influence your subconscious: To reinforce messages to your subconscious, like “I am calm and can cope with this situation”, there is no way like this: repeat, repeat, repeat.

•Visualization: Go to sleep with a picture in your mind how you would like to be. (Positive things of course) Do this again and again, every night. Try to wake up with this picture in your mind.

•Concentrate on the task at hand: If you immerse yourself totally in a task, so that you achieve the very best result you are capable of (this can be anything at all, for example washing the dishes, ironing, driving a car or mowing the lawn), you will find that task becomes like a meditation in itself. Time flies, you derive satisfaction from your efforts and you spend at least this time completely in the here and now, not worrying about past or future.

  • Lastly, get a massage or better yet get a facial. Not only will you escape into pampering bliss, you’ll go home with great skin.

And if you are home, make yourself a refreshing margarita or pour yourself a glass of serve wine to enhance that relaxation. ;)

relaxation day


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Late Night Thoughts

nighttime the lil spa roomMany friends are going through tough times right now; some have family and friends to lean on and some don’t. All you can do is stay true to yourself, love yourself, and keep telling yourself everything is going to be ok. And before you know it, the bad has passed you by. Every obstacle I have been through I have learned something; whether it’s a good lesson or a bad, I learn something and use it for whatever comes my way next. What I have also learned the older I have gotten is that some things we just cannot control. We most definitely can’t control the thoughts and actions of others either. Try to not stress out on things you can’t change. It’ll eat you up inside.

When you feel alone, remember that you are not. You have YOU. Learn to love yourself. Know that you serve a purpose just like any other human being and the beauty of not knowing what that purpose is just means that it could be something beyond anything you have ever imagined. We are all unique and special in our own way. That’s what makes life so great and interesting.

For those going through marital/relationship problems; let go. Stay strong and take care of YOU. You cannot make someone love you and you can’t force yourself to be in love with someone.  If that person is meant for you they will fight for you, they won’t give up, and they will try to right every wrong they have done. I believe in forgiveness and that you can start over if  changes are made for the better. If someone leaves you to move onto another life with someone, don’t ever think it was you. Sometimes people run away from reality, get caught up in a fantasy world, or are just so unhappy they look for something to fill the void in.

Not all may agree, but I believe in karma. I think when you hurt people; you create this bad energy for yourself. I believe that we are all meant to learn a lesson after we have wronged someone; sometimes that lesson is far greater than the hurt we have caused. So before you hurt someone, think about that. Bad things also happen to good people sometimes. I think it’s to strengthen us for the good we deserve. Don’t let heartache stop you from living. Pick yourself up.

Every day I talk to people; I have some really deep conversations and I always wonder if they see what I do. Many people don’t realize all they are; how beautiful they are on the inside as well as the out. It took me a long time to love myself; to realize what I deserved and what was toxic in my life. Now that I am at a place of growth, happiness, and stability, all that I have gone through makes sense. Stay strong my friends…we only get one life…make the most of it. Good night.


Step Mom Duty

It finally happened. My step daughter came to visit us in Texas. Not only did we have the opportunity to pick her up ourselves in Washington; it was also a fun memory to travel back with her to Texas. This was a first for all of us; her mom, her step dad, my husband, me, and all of our families. She had never been away from home or her mom for more than a couple of days. This time she’d be gone for over 3 weeks, in another state, and spending part of her summer vacation here and meeting all her Texas family.  I have to admit, as much as friends were worried for me, I wasn’t nervous at all. Being an older sister, having a take charge personality, and wanting to get to know my step daughter, I was actually pretty excited. As much as I love my husband, how could I not love his child that looks so much like him anyway? I was ready to create lots of fun family memories.

Being a step parent isn’t easy at all. I think when families are blended, lots of patience, energy, effort, and sacrifice takes a huge part in making sure the children between everyone grow in good directions. When jealously, bitterness, and old harsh feelings are still felt by anyone in a blended family, the only ones that suffer are the children. Kids see and hear things more than we give them credit for. Though it wasn’t an easy task to get to where we are now, took a couple of years, and lots of very deep conversations, I can honestly say it was well worth it.

I believe having my step daughter here for 3 weeks has helped each and every one of us grow as individuals. Her mom got to enjoy some alone time with her spouse, my family & I got to know my step daughter , and most of all my husband got to make some wonderful lasting memories with his little girl. The biggest thing this summer visit did was help all of us all parents get on the same page when it comes to discipline. Between my husband, myself, my step daughter’s mom, and her other half, we all have very different upbringings. Though that can be a tough thing when it comes to agreeing on discipline techniques, I am very blessed that everyone involved has an open mind and heart, working as a team, and finds its best to discuss behavioral issues together.

We all want what’s best for the children in our lives. Being a step parent, the role in your step child’s life is just as important as their parents because you also are setting examples for them. Every one contributes something special to the children involved in a blended family. I am very lucky that my step daughter’s mom and I get along great. We all have the same goal and that’s to raise my step daughter to be a confident, strong young woman. All of us here in Texas are looking forward to many more visits and memories. Being a step parent is a good thing; it means that your heart is so full of love for your spouse, that you have plenty to give to his children.

“A stepmother might have to rise above a little more than everyone else to make everything go smoothly and for everyone to feel comfortable. Step moms are not around to replace a biological parent, rather to augment a child’s life experience.”

step mom

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